Billboard Top Ten for my Birthday Week: Number 2

I've always had an interesting relationship in regards to Foxy Brown. Frankly, I love hardcore rap from females. Period. But, at the same time, not many of them hold my attention for long. Let me just sum it up... if Foxy Brown were a Jay-Z album, she would be The Blueprint 2, not terrible, not good, mostly forgettable. She's no Unfinished Business, but she's not even close to being as good as Reasonable Doubt.

Honestly, the only time I've ever really WANTED to listen to her is when I heard she went deaf. I wanted to see if I could hear a clear downward progression in her albums. That's pretty fucked up, isn't it? I'm sorry.

Anyway, her newest effort Brooklyn's Don Diva sounds like she had a radio in prison and pounded 50 into her head. I know the album was recorded before her prison sentence, but it's funnier if I pretend it was afterwards, okay? She talks about Big and Pac about as much as 50 does, the difference being that Foxy KNEW them, so it's okay if she talks about them. And talk she does.

In her seven year hiatus, she hasn't really developed lyrically. She continues to talk about her tits, her ass, and fucking with hints of gangster-ism scattered throughout. Those things aren't bad, especially considering the female perspective. I'm not saying it sounds like the other club rap of late, because it doesn't. The problem is that it feels like Foxy Brown from 1997, only 11 years older. It seems like her and Lil' Kim got caught up in being "fuck me feminists" and, whether accidentally or on purpose, they both turned it into a gimmick.

Recommended Tracks: "We're On Fire", "How We Get Down", "The Quan (Hip-Hop Mix)"

Pros:
- The beats aren't bad, with the notable exception of "When The Lights Go Out" which was one of the lamest beats I've heard in a minute (and I just listened to Mannie Fresh's beat on Rick Ross' album!).
- Foxy's flows are still on-point, considering she didn't record a lyric for quite some time and doesn't hit the mixtape circuit or freestyle at all.
- Considering her long bout with being completely stone-fucking-deaf, she didn't forget, or even slide back, in how to work syllables and sound.

Cons:
- Only three tracks are solo, the rest depend on a guest.
- May as well be Ill Na Na or The Firm, The Album lyrically.
- Some of the tracks sound dated because of her style, and the beats.

Overall Score: 73%

Billboard Top Ten for my Birthday Week: Number 1

I've been listening to hip-hop for 22 years now. That's a long fucking time. I was born the same year that Run-DMC's Raising Hell and Beastie Boys' Licensed to Ill dropped. My first albums were from my dad, they were Tone Loc's Loc-ed After Dark, MC Hammer's Please Hammer Don't Hurt 'Em, and Vanilla Ice's To The Extreme (forgive me for the latter two, I was only like three or four when my dad popped those in the tape deck for me).

All that being said... I'm going to review the Top Ten Rap Albums on Billboard over the next little bit, starting, of course, with number one. Rick Ross' Trilla.



Honestly, I was really excited about this album because I liked Port of Miami. As time wore on, I found myself frequently checking the time on each song, wondering when the song would end and show some of the potential, fun, and possibility I felt with Port. The fun never came. Don't get me wrong, he talked about himself having fun, he referenced things that are fun, HE seemed to be having fun... but, to be frank, I wasn't having fun.

The beats were lackadaisical and tedious, except for a few notable tracks ("We Shinin'", "This Me", and "Billionaire"). Other than that, it's hard to even describe the beats. They just sound generic, (except for Mannie Fresh's addition to the album "All I Have In This World", which just sounded like every other Mannie Fresh-produced song ever, in other words, hollow drums with the same drum fill in the same place).

Speaking of Mannie-fucking-Fresh: aside from Birdman, he is the most predictable money rapper. In other words, with a Birdman track, you know there will probably be Gucci mentioned, or gator shoes. Mannie has a little more versatility, but not much. Really, though, "All I Have In This World" sounds like Mannie Fresh ghostwrote the motherfucker. Avoid it if you don't like hearing about jeans... (which is actually mentioned in the second half of the official title, I just refuse to write it because it's FUCKING INANE!!!)

The album has all the makings of a formula hit: Scarface references every two songs, a million references to specific cars (Maybach and Benz), overly-epic beats with horns and shit, an appearance by T-Pain, at least one 2pac shout out, a track from DJ Khaled (where he makes himself sound stupid for about a minute), and an appearance by Lil Wayne (who compares himself to MLK... yes, THAT MLK... the one who was the Civil Rights leader and shot in '68). Apparently, that formula works.

Ross helps along some additions to the revised formula with help from the J.U.S.T.I.C.E. League, who have been on damn near everything for the past few years. Fun fact: the J.U.S.T.I.C.E. League is just as bad of a team as their namesake (just like they have a bunch of second-rate shitty superheroes and then fuckin' awesome Batman, the production group has a bunch of second-rate dollar-beats for every banger).

Recommended Tracks: "Trilla Intro".

Pros:
- Jay-Z is on the album
- Ignoring the lyrics, Rick Ross sounds good

Cons:
- More of the same
- More of the same
- More of the same
- Lil Wayne is on the album

Overall Score: 56%

Soulja Boy is the Antichrist

I TOLD YOU MOTHERFUCKERS IT WOULD COME TO THIS!!! IT'S THE SAME FUCKING SONG!!!! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!

Bitch-Fest

- JabbaWockeeZ won America's Best Dance Crew. That is the only good news I have right now.
- "Lollipop" by Lil Wayne is one of the top singles in America. Another single was released recently called "Lolli Lolli (Pop That Body)" by Three 6 Mafia. The song features a strikingly similar synth line with another motherfucker with a Roger Troutman voice-box that sounds strikingly similar to a second-rate T-Pain (who looks strikingly like a second-rate Lil Jon). Now, this could have been a coincidence in any other genre, but I doubt it in the current state of rap. There have been rumors of a remix of "Lollipop" with T-Pain in it, which is what the entire fucking song sounds like to begin with. And thus, the shit cycle comes full circle.
- I was going to do a recurrent thing called "This Week in 50 Cent Beef"... but I got too tired after the first one.