Billboard Top Ten for my Birthday Week: Number 1

I've been listening to hip-hop for 22 years now. That's a long fucking time. I was born the same year that Run-DMC's Raising Hell and Beastie Boys' Licensed to Ill dropped. My first albums were from my dad, they were Tone Loc's Loc-ed After Dark, MC Hammer's Please Hammer Don't Hurt 'Em, and Vanilla Ice's To The Extreme (forgive me for the latter two, I was only like three or four when my dad popped those in the tape deck for me).

All that being said... I'm going to review the Top Ten Rap Albums on Billboard over the next little bit, starting, of course, with number one. Rick Ross' Trilla.



Honestly, I was really excited about this album because I liked Port of Miami. As time wore on, I found myself frequently checking the time on each song, wondering when the song would end and show some of the potential, fun, and possibility I felt with Port. The fun never came. Don't get me wrong, he talked about himself having fun, he referenced things that are fun, HE seemed to be having fun... but, to be frank, I wasn't having fun.

The beats were lackadaisical and tedious, except for a few notable tracks ("We Shinin'", "This Me", and "Billionaire"). Other than that, it's hard to even describe the beats. They just sound generic, (except for Mannie Fresh's addition to the album "All I Have In This World", which just sounded like every other Mannie Fresh-produced song ever, in other words, hollow drums with the same drum fill in the same place).

Speaking of Mannie-fucking-Fresh: aside from Birdman, he is the most predictable money rapper. In other words, with a Birdman track, you know there will probably be Gucci mentioned, or gator shoes. Mannie has a little more versatility, but not much. Really, though, "All I Have In This World" sounds like Mannie Fresh ghostwrote the motherfucker. Avoid it if you don't like hearing about jeans... (which is actually mentioned in the second half of the official title, I just refuse to write it because it's FUCKING INANE!!!)

The album has all the makings of a formula hit: Scarface references every two songs, a million references to specific cars (Maybach and Benz), overly-epic beats with horns and shit, an appearance by T-Pain, at least one 2pac shout out, a track from DJ Khaled (where he makes himself sound stupid for about a minute), and an appearance by Lil Wayne (who compares himself to MLK... yes, THAT MLK... the one who was the Civil Rights leader and shot in '68). Apparently, that formula works.

Ross helps along some additions to the revised formula with help from the J.U.S.T.I.C.E. League, who have been on damn near everything for the past few years. Fun fact: the J.U.S.T.I.C.E. League is just as bad of a team as their namesake (just like they have a bunch of second-rate shitty superheroes and then fuckin' awesome Batman, the production group has a bunch of second-rate dollar-beats for every banger).

Recommended Tracks: "Trilla Intro".

Pros:
- Jay-Z is on the album
- Ignoring the lyrics, Rick Ross sounds good

Cons:
- More of the same
- More of the same
- More of the same
- Lil Wayne is on the album

Overall Score: 56%